Rose's English Blog

 Something that I believed as a child was in the existence of things such as demons and skin-walkers. I do still believe in those things to a certain degree, but as a child it would make me extremely superstitious and anxious, making me act irrational when others did certain things such as whistle at night or even say the names of these beings. It almost consumed me, that is the best way I can think to describe it. I would think about it so much that I would dream about it, but in those instances it would be a nightmare.  Today in class today we got our new vocabulary and began to work on an assignment connected to it. 

 A fear that I had to overcome was my fear of failure. When I was younger I was a perfectionist, never letting myself make a mistake, especially in academics. As I got older I still maintained that drive to succeed, but I began to go easier on myself, realizing that I was expecting myself to rid myself of my human attributes. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone messes up and life throws unexpected curve balls at you whenever it sees fit. You can;t grow without failure, staying comfortable keeps you in one place, and while you're not moving backwards, you are not moving forwards either. Growth and progress are not linear and I needed to stop expecting it to be.  Today in class we looked over how to identify claims within texts, explaining what type of claim it is, and writing an opposing claim. 

A truth I was afraid to accept was the fact that my family will never be normal and their actions in the past will continue to follow me. The marriage problems between my mom and my stepdad affected my ability to have a sense of stability, I moved schools a lot in the developmental years of my life, which rooted a constant feeling of anxiety in me from a very young age. I tried my best to push past the things I couldn't control and focus on the things around me that I could alter to benefit me. 

 A time when I was judged unfairly was when students and teachers, because of the way I present myself, they assume that I am more unintelligent than I actually am. I am not sure why I have encountered this as often as I have, it is frustrating but also liberating to prove people wrong. I am fine with the stereotype that certain individuals have placed upon me, the only opinion of me that matters is my own, I know my intelligence level and I know everything that I am capable of, and that is the most important thing. 

 A time in my life when I felt like others were intruding on my life or when someone felt out of place was about a year ago. It was when I was still in my relationship of two years and I had a girl in my life who wanted the guy I was with at the time, she would always try her best to insert herself where she wasn't welcome. It made me on edge and paranoid and angry, almost all of the time. It made me unpleasant to be around and extremely irritable. The emotions would build up and would cause issues for the people actually in the relationship. 

 The thing that I love most about being apart of the Lakeside community is how diverse the student population is, meeting all kinds of people is fun and makes school easier to get through. I am not the best at outwardly showing school spirit, applying myself in school helps to show that I respect my academics and the rules of the school. My favorite homecoming tradition is the fun themes for spirit week, you get to see many students show off their creativity through the way they dress up. Homecoming is always a fun time of year, everyone seems excited and collectively participating in the traditions of the school. 

 I prefer class discussion. I say this because when you hear the thoughts of others even when all of you are working on the same thing, different answers are always present and that will always be interesting to me. How one topic or assignment can insight a discussion filled with various thoughts and ideas helps you to grasp the content even better and help you come up with your own answer and understanding of certain things. 

 The aspect of creating a poem that I personally enjoy the most is figuring out what message you want to send. I enjoy creating a unique story through my poem and then knowing my own interpretation, but I am also curious about how others will interpret my work as well. Finding different perspectives on the same topic is extremely fascinating to me, it slowly lets you into the minds of others and you can get a feel for their personal thought process. 

 If asked to choose a song that describes my life right now i would most likely choose "Phantom Bride" by Deftones. This song is a beautiful song but not enough people give it the credit that it deserves just because it doesn't fit the "normal Deftones sound." On that fact alone I would say it describes my life right now but it is so much more than just what is on the surface. The song is beautiful and easy to appreciate if you just listen to it a few times, but the more you listen the more you begin to actually realize that the song is more than just a bunch of really nice sounds working together, it's sending a beautiful message about committing to making your life better instead of living in the same hole that you might be used to. The melody mixed with the lyrics have created an absolute masterpiece. 

 If I were to compose a poem about one aspect of my life the topic would fall into "finding yourself" or "facing adversity". Life has thrown me more curve balls than I can care to remember, nothing seems to go the way I expect and yet, here I am. I am still living my life and pushing forward no matter how hard things seem to get. I think the overall message of my life would be exactly that; to keep moving forward no matter how hard things get. 

 I enjoy this class very much, the assignments we are given are unique and the content is interesting. The teacher in this class makes the concepts easier to understand which is greatly appreciated. 

 A time when I felt a little absurd was the time when I jumped 1.5 meters on horseback unprepared and in improper equipment. It was late at night and I was doing a "hack ride" which is where you just do ground work (walk, trot, canter, etc) and not do any jumps. I was being watched by my mother who, for a split second, looked away and I ran with the horse over two 1.5 meter jumps back to back. I almost fell off and got extremely injured, my lack of preparation could have put my physical well-being in jeopardy. I needed to properly warm up and warn the people coaching me before attempting to pull a stunt like that again. Today in class we discussed different levels of absurdity and how that can look different when applied to different topics, you have to look at the process and work that goes into something before you can judge how "absurd" something truly is.